


What the Fuck is Up With My Mind and I?

by Anges_Bisous



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Comfort Character, Depression, Help, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 14:54:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29370360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anges_Bisous/pseuds/Anges_Bisous
Summary: I’m so sorry for this but I’m fucking drowning. I’m drowning in these depressing actions and I can’t escape, I feel like utter shit and I don’t know what to do.I know it’s fucked up but Jean is my comfort character and I just want to get what I’m feeling and thinking out. This is just gonna be what the author is feeling and going through portrayed by Jean Kirstein. (Nobody is going to be reading this but that’s fine. I just want to get what I’m thinking and going through out of my mind)
Kudos: 3





	What the Fuck is Up With My Mind and I?

The walls were closing in on me, imaginary walls that felt real as they pushed against my body trapping and crushing me. I struggled to breathe, I struggled to move. The thing is, they weren’t real walls, they are my thoughts crushing me unbearably. No matter what I did, yelling, clawing, screaming, crying, nothing helped me escape. 

Nobody. Nobody can help me, nobody can pull me out. I am loosing myself, I’m struggling to overcome these things. Family. They can’t help me, they are one of the reasons I’m experiencing these things. I cry out in horror as the walls press closer to the point where I can feel my bones snap and break under the pressure, I’m not actually being crushed to death, no, it’s just what these intrusive thoughts compare to. 

I can’t talk to to anyone, I can’t, I can’t. The one person I trusted, the one person I talked, the one person I loved most, hated my fits of putting myself down and being depressed. I can’t take it anymore, I can’t, I don’t want to die but I can’t fucking take this shit. I’m a coward, a stupid fucking coward that would never be able to hurt themself. 

I, Jean Kirstein, am a piece of worthless garbage that nobody will miss. No matter how many times people try to convince me and pull wool over my eyes I will not succumb to their lies. 

Why is living so fucking hard but the thought of dying so much fucking harder?


End file.
